basketball

First watch this video stereotyping the types of players you’ll meet playing pickup basketball.

Which player were you? At times, I was Mr. Accessory though for the wrong reasons with ankle braces, knee protection, and foot orthotics. I was a few years removed from the shooting sleeve popularized by Allen Iverson, but I would have definitely worn one (and only one) shooting sleeve. I would have said no to the headbands trend when it dominated the NBA. Without a doubt I was the “Shoe Guy” if shoes aren’t considered an accessory. I wore different kicks on court depending on how I felt.

I played against a few of the last stereotype. Did nothing all game then takes and makes a hurried shot for the win. You just gotta shake your head at those moments.

One stereotype missing from the video is the dirty player. Everyone’s played against this stereotype at some point. The hardest part is finding out who that is before you get hurt. Usually, the dirty player plays hard to make up for ability level. To get an advantage, there’s a push here, a hold there, and screens with shots to your knees as you go by. All of this is followed by unfazed looks of innocence, but you know the intent of the dirty player was purposeful.

Oh hey, one more stereotype not in the video is the “Black Hole.” Like the astronomical marvel, black hole pickup players have a gravitational pull that’s impossible to overcome. So when the ball touches the black hole’s hands, teammates will never see the ball again. Double, triple teams won’t trigger a pass out of the black hole since it’s simply impossible. Yes, I have been called a black hole in the past, but you know, wearing Jordan XI shoes gives you the right to keep taking shots. Wearing Jordans on the court is the virtual green light to keep shooting.