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Askhole, Know Any?

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Saw this shirt at The Refinery in Kahala Mall that defines an “askhole.” Do you know any?

A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the exact opposite.

I Suffer from Tsundoku

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I kinda suspected there was a term for my condition, and I now know its name. I suffer from tsundoku which is defined thusly:

The acquiring of reading materials followed by letting them pile up and subsequently never reading them.

Yes, I have a collection of books that maybe, just maybe, I cracked the spine on. Otherwise, they are in pristine condition (just a little dusty). I intended to read and learn from these books, but history has taught me otherwise, and now I acknowledge that I won’t read them.

I have gotten better over the years with the stagnant books acting as a reminder of this wasteful habit. Okay, okay, I did have a relapse buying (and not reading) that Sports Illustrated issue on Kobe Bryant’s career.

So while I suffer from tsundoku, I acknowledge it and vow to stay away from Amazon Prime Reading.

“Impietence” Defined

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By now, you know of the goodness from the Hawaiian Pie Company. Fresh or frozen, their creations do not disappoint.

But…

If you get a frozen pie, you have to keep in mind the preparation time. That is, the oven preheat to 400 degrees. Then the actual baking for one hour (or more) until golden brown. Then the cooling off for 30 minutes. You get the picture. If you don’t start early enough then you’ll come to understand impietence.

Yes, impietence is what happens when you can’t wait for the prescribed pie preparation time. Bake until not so pale (but not nearly golden brown) and let cool for say three minutes and blow on each bite to prevent serious scalding. Your Strawberry Guava pie will still taste great but won’t hold its shape when served. Blame it on impietence.

strawberry-guava-pie

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When Else Do You Barack and Chill?

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Other than being stuck in traffic as the First Family’s motorcade makes its way to an Air Force One departure, when are the other times you Barack and chill? It’s got to be all those times Hawaii residents experience power outages, inexplicably when POTUS is in the islands. This started back in December 2008 when Mr. Obama’s visit coincided with a 12-hour, island-wide outage, and yes, we used candles from Pay ‘n Save.

candles-pay-save

In 2010, the power outage precipitated POTUS’ arrival as Ala Moana went dark leading up to Christmas. This untimely exit of electricity brought on the first sentiments of Barack and Chill with this sign offering irate shoppers apologetic “Mahalo’z.”

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According to my blog posts, I did not record a power outage for the next five years although I don’t believe it. In any case, the next Barack and chill moment came in 2015 as stormy weather blacked out Hawaii.

Then almost one year later as we left 2015 and entered 2016, there was Hawaii’s (or at least Kailua’s) Barack and chill moment. With gusty winds clearing the skies, total darkness unveiled our starry skies.

(the stars are the white flecks)
(the stars are the white flecks)

During this most recent outage, as I pondered the Pulpconnection conspiracy theories about the timing of these outages, I sat back, realized, and defined “Barack and chill.” Perhaps, these nighttime outages could have led to Netflix and chill opportunities, especially if you queue up Barack Obama’s “Night” summer playlist on Spotify. But for me, this Barack and chill moment meant doing dishes by flashlight.

Barack and chill everyone!
Barack and chill everyone!

“Barack and Chill” Defined

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I’m defining “Barack and Chill” as:

What Hawaii residents have to patiently do while awaiting delays caused by President Barack Obama’s annual holiday stay.

If you don’t Barack and chill, you wouldn’t handle delays like this as the freeways are shutdown for the Presidential motorcade making its way to Hickam for their departure.

Words: Reify

Learned a new word today, reify.

make (something abstract) more concrete or real

Usually I use the term “realize” but wow, reify is just more mot juste.

What’s a Sun Shower and “Pineapple Juice”

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bath-body-pineappleWait, what? Spoon University says that a “Pineapple Juice” is Hawaiian slang for a “sun shower.” I sorta guessed what a sun shower is which is pretty much any day in Hawaii where you could see sunshine while still being rained on. But pineapple juice? I’ve never ever heard that phrase around here as related to weather. I would have guessed that a “Pineapple Juice Sun Shower” was a Bath and Body shower gel.

I do know that adding pineapple to any food item does make it magically Hawaiian though.

Ensure vs Assure vs Insure

Did you notice the similar but different words, assure, insure, and ensure? I hadn’t thought much about them until Pulpy reader @abaggy pointed out my usage of ensured versus assured.

Here’s what Dictionary.com says about this trio:

Basically, insure, ensure, and assure mean to make a person or thing more sure. Insure should be restricted to providing or obtaining insurance to indemnify or guarantee someone or something against a loss. Ensure can be used in all other senses, especially ‘to make certain’. Ensure can also imply a guarantee. Then there is a third word, assure, which means to make a promise or convince. Assure also implies the removal of doubt and suspense within someone’s mind.

So in my post, either “ensure” or “assure” would have worked. Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I assure you that the pain of making color copies was too much. Anyways, it’s all a mute point.

Chee!

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According to Kicks HI in collaboration with NMLS World, Chee! means:

The state of being stimulated, refreshed, or elated.
An exclamation of excitement that really has no real meaning said down here in Hawai’i. If you know, you know.

Chee!

And I’ll take their word for it, especially with awesomely designed duds emblazoned with Chee! Everyone needs some Chee! in their lives, and I doubt there can there be too much Chee!

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